Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
