Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
