Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
