Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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