I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
