I want to have your abortion
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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