After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
