did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
