Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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