are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
