Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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