Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
