when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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