Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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