her vagine was all disorganized.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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