he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
