Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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