Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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