She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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