I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
