I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
