dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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