that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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