Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
