haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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