You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I didn't shave. On purpose
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
