if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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