I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
