you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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