..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
