Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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