Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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