she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
