Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
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I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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