You just made me feel so damn special
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
