I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
