Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
