Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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