im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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