By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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