Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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