And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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