Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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