Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
