i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
