I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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