I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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