i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
