Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light

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  (212): i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light http://tfl.nu/ogwp
  Replies (9) Good night (620) Bad night (2635)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...

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  (269): So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night. (937): Feels good to be wearing underwear again though... http://tfl.nu/djzk
  Replies (2) Good night (3481) Bad night (552)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!

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  (404): Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food! http://tfl.nu/vzr5
  Replies (26) Good night (7633) Bad night (582)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.

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  (412): we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents. http://tfl.nu/8scw
  Replies (35) Good night (947) Bad night (3489)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.

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  (415): I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home. http://tfl.nu/qs9s
  Replies (12) Good night (2905) Bad night (646)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  tequila makes her clothes fall off

  (512): View more from Texas

  wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time

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  (636): tequila makes her clothes fall off (512): wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time http://tfl.nu/mbhl
  Replies (28) Good night (1897) Bad night (8063)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore

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  (541): I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore http://tfl.nu/6v6s
  Replies (10) Good night (4845) Bad night (591)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.

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  (401): i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop. http://tfl.nu/anbh
  Replies (34) Good night (1977) Bad night (4558)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library

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  (828): That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library http://tfl.nu/vcd5
  Replies (5) Good night (3949) Bad night (943)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...

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  (405): please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin... http://tfl.nu/m01o
  Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (1948)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.

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  (267): I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions. http://tfl.nu/avse
  Replies (7) Good night (1320) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.

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  (586): I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food. http://tfl.nu/52ze
  Replies (27) Good night (1394) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.

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  (212): The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you. http://tfl.nu/c03k
  Replies (9) Good night (2373) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.

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  (248): I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home. http://tfl.nu/2kup
  Replies (1) Good night (1412) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  SEX BINGO!

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  Canadian or clown?

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  (701): SEX BINGO! (1-701): Canadian or clown? http://tfl.nu/877n
  Replies (6) Good night (536) Bad night (253)

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