Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Without porn, I would have few hobbies.

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(308): Without porn, I would have few hobbies. http://tfl.nu/e9r7

Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (1648)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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(405): It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him. http://tfl.nu/10ee

Replies (25) Good night (1531) Bad night (1708)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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(781): Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning. (1-781): I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon. http://tfl.nu/wxu1

Replies (19) Good night (6238) Bad night (755)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!

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(864): After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?! http://tfl.nu/q1jx

Replies (17) Good night (1726) Bad night (4058)
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(207): View more from Maine

can u get pink eye on your cock?

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(207): can u get pink eye on your cock? http://tfl.nu/aw6r

Replies (19) Good night (774) Bad night (5630)
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(713): View more from Texas

I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.

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(713): I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke. http://tfl.nu/gwfs

Replies (14) Good night (5205) Bad night (842)
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(325): View more from Texas

I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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(325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa

Replies (19) Good night (7036) Bad night (1481)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

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(732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf

Replies (11) Good night (4900) Bad night (1281)
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(702): View more from Nevada

We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

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(702): We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside. http://tfl.nu/zfn8

Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (2724)
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(754): View more from Florida

Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day

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(754): Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day http://tfl.nu/l2mr

Replies (6) Good night (2785) Bad night (870)
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(661): View more from California

I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.

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(661): I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now. http://tfl.nu/5tlj

Replies (2) Good night (1468) Bad night (654)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits

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(330): He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits http://tfl.nu/kxc9

Replies (11) Good night (1726) Bad night (607)
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(941): View more from Florida

So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic

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(941): So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic http://tfl.nu/vgkg

Replies (8) Good night (1674) Bad night (852)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?

(334): View more from Alabama

Oh we're gynecologists

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(334): Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween? (334): Oh we're gynecologists http://tfl.nu/xv3o

Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (371)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...

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(978): You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again... http://tfl.nu/9z52

Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (342)

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