dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.