haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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