Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.