She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
