i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position