I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
