Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

super hot butfun

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.

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(801): View more from Utah

We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).

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(573): View more from Missouri

Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.

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(503): View more from Oregon

still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.

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