I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
All I want is dick and wine.
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