Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Are my feet made of real feet?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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