I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
