i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
