Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The adults are the big ones right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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