We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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