one might say we're banned from that church
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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