Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He felt like a one man threesome
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
