how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
