you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
