Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
People in love make me want to vomit
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
