k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
