Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
