I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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