had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
