Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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