Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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