I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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