you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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