I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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